When most people hear the word “addiction,” they typically think of substances like drugs or alcohol. But it’s also possible to become addicted to a person – especially when that relationship feels like the only thing keeping you afloat. Emotional dependency, obsessive thoughts, intense highs and lows, and the inability to let go of your partner even when they hurt you all signify deeper issues at play.
Romantic relationships can feel especially alluring when you carry unresolved trauma or have unmet emotional needs. In those moments, a partner may seem like a source of stability, validation, or self-worth. But what begins as love can quickly spiral into obsession, compulsion, and a loss of identity.
What Does It Mean to Be Addicted to a Person?
Most people want relationships that feel safe, supportive, and mutually fulfilling. Unfortunately, it’s easy to mistake intensity for intimacy when you have unhealed wounds. Signs of emotional dependency include feeling euphoric when you’re with your loved one and empty or “flat” when you’re apart. You may tolerate mistreatment, lose your sense of self, or feel unable to move on from the person, even when the relationship no longer serves you.
Signs you may be addicted to a person include:
- You feel panicked or empty when they’re not around.
- You’ve set aside goals, hobbies, or friendships that seem incompatible with your relationship.
- You ignore red flags because the thought of being alone is unbearable.
- You go to great lengths to avoid upsetting or losing them.
- You mistake chaos, jealousy, or pain for passion.
- You’ve tried to leave, but always return.
That’s not healthy love. It’s a pattern often shaped by trauma, fear, or instability, and it can prevent you from building the connections you deserve.
The Role of Childhood Experiences
Many women who struggle with relationship addiction come from unpredictable, emotionally neglectful, or unsafe environments. If you grew up with adverse childhood experiences such as abuse, abandonment, parental substance use, or domestic violence, your developing brain may have wired itself for survival instead of trust.
As an adult, you may cling to relationships to soothe that early sense of fear or chaos, even if the connection is dysfunctional. You might confuse emotional intensity with love, or fear being alone because it feels dangerous or triggering.
Attachment Disorders and Codependency
If you didn’t feel consistently safe or loved as a child, you may develop an anxious attachment style, leading to:
- Fear of abandonment
- Hypervigilance in relationships
- Clinging to emotionally unavailable people
- Idealizing a partner while minimizing your needs
An anxious attachment can evolve into codependency – a one-sided relationship in which you sacrifice your well-being to keep someone else close. You may constantly try to fix or rescue them, define your worth by their approval, or perpetuate unhealthy patterns because you believe you can’t function on your own.
The Link to Mental Health Disorders
Several mental and behavioral health conditions can intensify toxic relationship dynamics.
- Borderline personality disorder: Characterized by instability, intense fear of abandonment, and emotional dysregulation.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder: Balanced relationships may feel unfamiliar or unsafe to survivors of abuse or neglect.
- Depression and anxiety: Can leave you vulnerable to latching onto other people for a false sense of security or relief.
- Substance use disorders: Emotional dependency often co-occurs with drug or alcohol use, either to numb pain or to maintain a relationship with someone who uses.
Don’t Measure Your Worth by Someone Else’s Love
Emotional dependency happens when you rely on someone else to fill gaps in your well-being. If these patterns feel familiar, you may never have learned how to receive safe, consistent love or how to stand on your own emotionally.
The Pearl understands the complex, intertwined nature of trauma, addiction, and relationship struggles. Our women’s-only treatment environment is a safe place where you can explore these patterns without shame. Through therapy, group support, and trauma-informed care, you will learn how to:
- Set healthy boundaries
- Build secure relationships
- Connect or reconnect with your identity
- Heal childhood wounds
Recovery begins when you stop looking outside yourself for validation and begin to reclaim your inner strength. Contact us today if you’re ready to break unhealthy relationship cycles.