When you think of bullying, you might picture a schoolyard taunt or a teenage “mean girl” clique. But bullying doesn’t only happen in childhood – and its consequences can be far-reaching. Many adults carry the scars into their relationships, workplaces, and inner lives. For women in particular, the effects are often emotional and complex, especially when layered with other challenges like trauma, addiction, and low self-worth.
Defining Bullying
Bullying is a pattern of repeated, intentional behavior aimed at hurting, intimidating, or manipulating another person. It can be verbal, emotional, social, or physical – and in today’s hyperconnected world, it often extends into digital spaces through tactics like doxing or posting photos without your consent.
Bullying takes many forms, but the common thread is that it involves a real or perceived power imbalance that makes you feel small, powerless, or ashamed.
- Name-calling, insults, or slurs
- Spreading rumors or lies
- Social exclusion or isolation
- Public humiliation
- Online harassment
- Intimidation or threats
- Physical harm or destruction of property
More Than a Childhood Problem
It’s a misconception that bullying automatically ends once you leave school. Adults can experience bullying in their workplaces, relationships, families, and online. Women may also be targets of subtle, manipulative forms of bullying like relational aggression, which involves sabotaging your social connections, spreading gossip, or excluding you from group activities.
Adult bullying can manifest as:
- A partner controlling your finances or degrading your accomplishments
- A colleague undermining you professionally
- Social circles pressuring you to conform or comply
- Passive-aggressive “jokes” meant to belittle or embarrass you
These behaviors may be harder to identify than overt cruelty, but they’re no less harmful.
Why Women May Be More Affected
While anyone can be the target of bullying, social norms pressure women to be agreeable, accommodating, and self-critical – traits that can make them more vulnerable to mistreatment or manipulation. Additionally, you may internalize bullying as a reflection of your worth if you’ve survived trauma or you struggle with low self-esteem.
Women are also susceptible to intersectional bullying, where someone undermines multiple aspects of your identity, such as your gender, race, appearance, or sexual orientation.
Long-Term Effects of Bullying
Bullying can leave lasting emotional and psychological wounds.
- Anxiety and depression: Victims of bullying often develop chronic mental health conditions, especially when the abuse goes unacknowledged or unresolved.
- Low self-esteem: Being repeatedly put down or excluded can chip away at your sense of self-worth.
- Substance use: Some women misuse drugs or alcohol to numb the pain of past bullying or escape from ongoing abuse.
- Trust issues: Repeated betrayals and mistreatment can lead to difficulty forming or maintaining healthy relationships.
- Complex PTSD: When bullying is ongoing and overlaps with other forms of trauma, it can lead to symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
The Link Between Bullying and Addiction
Many women who seek help for substance use disorders have a history of bullying in childhood or as adults. The emotional damage from this kind of mistreatment can contribute to patterns of avoidance, shame, and emotional dysregulation, all of which can make drinking or drug use feel like a temporary relief.
At The Pearl, we recognize the underlying connections between trauma and addiction. Healing from addiction often means revisiting painful chapters of your past, including bullying, with the support of compassionate professionals who understand what you’ve been through.
Compassionate, Trauma-Informed Care for Women
No matter when someone tried to victimize or belittle you, it’s not your fault. Now, you deserve to feel safe, respected, and empowered as you start healing. Reclaim your confidence, set boundaries, and learn how to be in healthy, reciprocal relationships again.
The Pearl provides trauma-informed, women-only treatment that creates a safe space to explore your experiences, rebuild your self-esteem, and break free from patterns of harm. Contact us today to begin recovering in a space designed just for you.